Football, Sexual (and Other) Violence, and Homophobia Part II

The Cox signing left the headlines quickly. The 49ers stealthily entered the signing war for Peyton Manning and that headline eclipsed all others for the past week. Alex Smith worked out for the Dolphins, but they signed another quarterback. Manning chose the Denver Broncos. Now, the Niners and Smith look suitable for each other once again. There is speculation about how serious any of the pursued and pursuers really when they took each other out for a spin. Maybe the 49ers really and truly wanted Manning. They must have to have risked Smith. Though, really, how much risk was there? The Niners went after a proven quarterback--before the most recent surgeries--and got rid of Cox headlines.  And my series continues...
 
I only read about the Cox case in online newspaper and TV news stories. He was acquitted. I can’t say he’s guilty. It’s really hard to understand how he says he didn’t have sex with her and she does not remember having sex with him and she ended up pregnant. I know the legal system doesn’t always work for anyone—accused and victim. All I know is it’s complicated. Writing that feels like a copout. I copped out a long time ago.

When I read the article about Cox months—a year? year and a half?—ago, I'm sure I felt bad for the woman. I feel bad and angry any time anyone is sexually assaulted. I feel bad when anyone is assaulted in any way. I’m sure I also felt relief that he wasn't on My Team. 

I'm sure as I felt my relief that since he wasn’t on My Team, he wasn’t My Problem. I could watch My Team and have no problems.

I’m sure I couldn’t completely mask my nervousness. These stories. The ones where your favorite player or a player on your favorite team does something wrong that it knocks you out of your love affair with them.

I was knocked out of love with a Giants pitcher accused of domestic violence. Okay, I didn’t love him, but he was on the team. I for sure didn’t like him when the domestic violence charges came. He’s not on the team anymore, but while he was I isolated my hatred for him from my feelings for the rest of the team. Denial works in many ways.

By the way, domestic never sounds domestic when it is paired with violence because VIOLENCE IS NOT DOMESTIC. It’s not civil, nice, appropriate.
I was knocked out of love in 2002 when Garrison Hearst made his derogatory remark about queers. I use the word queers. He used the word faggot. According to www.outsports.com who got it from The Fresno Bee (I didn’t go back to the original article because they’re now charging a fee), Hearst said:
“Aww, hell no! I don't want any faggots on my team. I know this might not be what people want to hear, but that's a punk. I don't want any faggots in this locker room.”

I hated Hearst. I hated myself for ever liking him. I hated myself for being a fool. Why was I, a woman, a lesbian, a politically conscious Chicana lesbian rooting for this man. He hated me. Hearst never used the word hate and he didn’t mention my name. He was talking about gay men. I can only wonder what he would say about a lesbian in his locker room. 

What is or was his reason for not wanting a gay man in his locker room? It seems obvious that he feared the stereotype of gay men—that they’ll attack straight men. Ultimately, he issued one of those apologies that sound forced.
I felt sad. I thought we were friends. Not friends-friends but fan-player friend. You know, I would buy him a drink if he ever came into the bar. Or, I’d ask for his autograph if I ever ran into him…at the bar. I don’t go to bars often, but that’s the only place I can imagine running into a Forty Niner or any professional athlete. I would have bought him a drink. Or, I would have inconspicuously stared and fantasized about buying him a drink. If he dropped into the bar when my uncles were there, they would have bought him a drink! Or, inconspicuously stared and fantasized about buying him a drink.

Garrison told the world we're not friends. He joined Jeremy Shockey who said he hoped there were no gay players in the NFL. Hearst and Shockey were responding to former NFL player Esera Tuaolo coming out. Yes, out as in GAY!
Read the next post about 4, yes, FOUR former NFL players. I think you'll be more surprised than you might expect.